A lack of compatibility and communication are 2 of the most common reasons people get divorced. People who wish to enter into a lifelong marriage should definitely lay their expectations and history out on the table before saying “I do.” That way, they can at least be prepared for when they face any obstacles as spouses.
Our team is breaking down the things that people looking to get married might want to talk about before getting hitched.
1. “How are we going to combine finances?”
It’s important to plan how to handle the money you both are going to be earning moving forward. Each person may need to have their own separate stash in addition to one shared account that both spouses contribute to each month. A number of how much is needed monthly, depending on how much their salaries are, can be discussed and agreed upon. Also, deciding when the money from your joint finances can be used is also a valid question.
2. “What is your exact debt?”
Confirming each others’ real debts can help you both to plan ahead on how to handle them. Nobody would enjoy being ambushed with their new spouse’s debt upon getting married. Anyone would feel betrayed if they only found out about the actual amount owed by their partner after the wedding. Plus, this could really affect the trust they have in their partner.
3. “How are we saving for our retirement?”
One day, everyone has to retire from work. And being married means needing to include each other in your retirement plans. You would need to plan to at least have enough for 2 people and include the possible medical costs in case either of you gets sick.
4. “Do you plan to have kids?”
Not everyone who wants to get married wants to have kids. And even if both spouses want children, there are other things to discuss, such as parenting styles, what you’d do if the kids have disabilities, or how you’d react if they grew up to be different than what you expected.
5. “What will you do if we’re unable to have kids?”
For some people, having children is a must. So if for some reason a couple can’t bear children, they would need to think about what to do next. They might choose to adopt a child, to get a surrogate, to go through IVF, or to get a divorce and marry someone else.